Background-
For those who don't know me, I really love jeans, especially raw japanese denim. These jeans have been on me almost every day for the past 7 months, and the wear reflects my life.
I took these last week after I washed them.

C.R.E.A.M.

Im really excited about the Wu-Tang and Sick Of It All/Madball shows that are within a couple days of each other. Hopefully the Wu will be great... the crowd will probably be an interesting mix of people. And as for Sick of it all and Madball, I'm fearing for my life. Seriously though, both shows should be awesome.

I'm in desparate need of a job, because I really need $200 hopefully by the first week in December. I was "hired" a few weeks ago, but the guy never called me to tell me when to come in and he eventually flaked, and sadly he was a distant realtion... Maybe he just didn't have the guts to turn me down. I'm hoping that I wont have to sell anything or borrow any money, but its crucial I have that money. There is a bank account of mine with several thousand dollars in it but for reasons unknown to me the co-signer wont let me take any out right now. So back to craigslist I go!

Early in the morning, face crud from like a mud fight

"Looks like it's gonna be a great day today
To get some fresh air like a stray on a straightaway..."

Woke up at 6 this morning to finish my book report poster on Faulkner's As I Lay Dying. I think it looks pretty good considering it only took me about an hour to do.

I did 1 rep squat max's today, and got up to 245lbs. Though its far from what I'm capable of doing eventually; its something I have actually worked towards for the past two months. In lifting, you either make it or you don't, theres no bullshit, no "almosts," and its all you. Im trying to get up to 275 by new year's and maybe 325 by the end of the school year. One of my biggest shortcomings is my seemily inability to set and carry out goals, and for once, I think I actually might.

This is week two of being back on the Bupropion (Wellbutin). After a month or so without health insurance I'm finally on my step-mom's insurance plan. One of my to-do's this week is find a new med doc, because my attempt at being med free is causing my grades/relationships/motivation to kind of go down the shitter at neck-breaking speeds. Although I wish the Bupropion was enough to keep me straight, its not the case. New goal: Don't piss off my doctors.

"...Easy as Pi, three point one four
One more one false move and they're done for"

So what the fuck are you going to do, kid?

Only in recent weeks have I discovered how I'm not making choices and steps forward for myself as much as I'd like, or whats considered healthy. Actually, guess I have made a choice by driving in the back seat, where I'm perched now. With increasing frequency I think of what it will take for me to grab my life by the testicles and stop being the bitch.
Things may be the strangest they have ever been.